Time Triggers

On Friday I decided to tape over the clocks and pay attention to my own body and what it is telling me.

What I discovered was that I pay more attention to the clocks than I do to my body.

I discovered I was more thirsty than hungry throughout the day. I discovered after having 1 toast before 7 a.m. that I wasn't hungry for lunch until almost 2 p.m.

Yet in the run of my day living with clocks, I eat.

I eat when I get to work (don't have time to eat at home most times).

I eat again at 9:30 break time (most days).

I eat at 11:45 or Noon depending on if I am going for a walk or out for lunch.

I often will look to eat around 2:30 to "get me through".

Then I eat again supper, around 5 p.m.

Then after everyone in the house is asleep, I "make lunches" and eat some more.

Whew, actually writing it down brings a resonance with my own self. To actually admit it to myself... was quite unreal to me... yet denial was a place I've been at for quite some time with regards to my food issues.

When I am not aware of the TIME and choosing to listen to my body... I don't eat nearly as much.

So what kind of trigger or habit does time hold for me? It's irrelevant, all I need to know is I can no longer be unaware of this anymore. I know now, is whatever that may be... it no longer serves me.

As I begin my day each day now I must NOT pay attention to clocks.... to break my cycle of mindless eating... choosing to pay attention to myself and ask in each moment... is this what I want?