Annoyance, agitation, boredom, anger, all were triggers for me to go to the fridge or the cupboard.
On Friday night I was bored out of my tree, asking Mike to go out with me ANY where. There was nothing on TV, nothing much to do. I didn't want to go out with Sara (my 3 yr old) again by myself.
I kept bugging Mike, lets go out, let do something, ANYTHING.
He did not want to go out, he has been working all week (I've been on vacation), he was tired and wanting to sit back and do nothing.
Okay so what can I do, my mind immediately started to think about what food I can eat and I noticed it. So I told Mike... "we need to go do something I am starting to think about what I can eat now to occupy myself".
Thankfully that was his cue to suck it up and go shopping with me.
I don't think anyone who has never had any food issues realizes just how much it consumes your days. Mostly on the reactive side of things as something to do when I am bored. As something to do when I am angry and remain silent. As something to do to distract myself from something that is annoying me.
Food for many years served as a tool, a strategy instead of sustenance for my physical body.
It is making the difference this time around where I am noticing the underlying reasons behind the trigger to grab something to eat.
It is important for me to continue to consciously choose in the moments where that trigger happens.
Do I indulge this impulse? Do I choose to not indulge and look at the bigger picture?
I am choosing the latter more often than not lately. I feel strong when I do.
Deprivation of something isn't the same... I had some of Sara's Ice Cream Cake for her birthday party last night... somethings need to be eaten... I believe family birthday cake has no calories!
Tomorrow I go back to work after being off for 2 weeks. I need to plan my meals for the week today to make things easier. After all making 2 different meals at meal time is time consuming and I wouldn't want to slack off for the sake of time.
Until next time... choosing mindfully in the moment.
Inside and Out
Breaking the Chains of Old Beliefs
About Me
- Lori Walton
- I am, as each of us are, a brilliant being who has before me choices in each and every moment. I am a mother. I am a sister. I am a daughter. I am a friend. I am a leader. I am a champion for others. I am a champion for myself. I cry. I breath. I laugh. I sooth. I yell. I scream. I love...deeply to the core of who I am. Because somewhere within me there is the potential to be an aspect of you, and each and every person I meet somewhere within them is an aspect of myself, regardless of age, class, money, gender, colour, religion, beliefs, culture. If it is not readily seen the potential lies within us all. I am me.
3 comments:
Just a thought, but what if you were to just make one meal for everyone that was health and fun to eat without feeling that you're doing something different????
Hugs Amy
hey lori.... You are such a beautiful women inside and out and you really can do anything you set your mind and body too....as we all have witnessed. I have different types of image/body issues where I want to look stronger and bigger....different...but...really the same in so many ways. It really isn't about what others think as we are in holographic universe as you have reminded me and as you know so well yourself. You breath and live it everyday in so many ways.
Next time your bored...call me....I will go power walking or running with you:) I can work on trying to build my muscles up to feel stronger on the outside as I work on the inside as well.
oh and then we can go for sushi! its very good for body and soul!lol
hugs
Good for you Lori! You are very brave to talk about this. I grew up with a mother who raided the cupboards every night and I had a lot of resentment toward her growing up. I tend not to raid cupboards but I look for a cigarette or a glass of to dampen my signals!
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