No Quick Fix

The excuses are abundant. My energy easily swayed to the next task.

As I prepared for this trip to Ottawa, my travel arrangements were being looked after by someone else. They sent me my itinerary for the approval of times. I accepted.

When I received my ticket from the airline I was mortified to realize they had me on a small plane. Small plane means smaller seats. Immediately my body was filled with shame and humiliation. For a few minutes I thought I'd just have to deal with it, I went on to see the measurements of the seats... not good.

So I checked online for other available flights on bigger planes, I checked their seat measurements... a few inches more, I called the office of the person who made my arrangements and while in the midst of a great amount of heat I explained to her that I am a plus size woman and I was concerned with my ability to fit in the seats of the smaller plane. As silent tears washed down my cheeks I explained that I knew I could 'squeeze' into a normal size seat but had a big fear that I wouldn't be able to do the same on the smaller plane.

Now stop for a minute while you are reading this. Take a breath and put your own self in these shoes, if you have never been here before. Have you ever considered these things would need to be considered by another passenger on the plane?

I got my new tickets and see that I am in a middle seat (this is also not too good). When I arrived at the airport I tried to see if there was anything available on a window or an aisle, this would provide me to sit differently as not to take up too much space next to me. There was no other option the flight was indeed packed tight, so I had to make sure I was one of the first people on for my sections seating. This way I could get settled in and adjust the seat belt prior to the others arrival.

As I sat and waited for the people on each side of me to arrive I tried to see what way I could sit to make me the smallest possible. As each person approached I made up stories in my head about how thankful they were not to have to sit next to me. Then I could see in the mans face who recognized he had to sit next to me.

And the tears are coming back to me now as I write about this... I was thankful he was elderly, I was perhaps most thankful he was in the window seat. This allowed me a little bit of time to buckle myself in and assume the position of squeezing my body to as small as I could get it. The next guy came, I couldn't look at him I was ashamed and I felt bad for them that they had to sit by me.

The flight was long, keeping myself squeezed in a small as I could for the whole flight, not allowing myself to move, trying to make myself unapproachable for conversation by putting my headset on (even though I couldn't make room to really plug it into the plug on the arm rest).

When we arrived and I could unfold I was relieved. My body this morning is so stiff and sore, I know what that is from.

Today I am going to walk over the bridge from Gatineau to my meetings in Downtown Ottawa. According to my mapquest it is just under 4 km so it's definitely do able.

I have been travelling alot lately and I've been using that as an excuse for eating poorly. My journey I started to be successful at has been reversed over the past 3 weeks. That of course will need to change. Who can change that? Myself, by consciously choosing not to be a victim to circumstance... choosing to eat well on the road, how hard is that? It's not really. Suck it Up Princess and get it done.

Tossing the chips in the garbage for housekeeping to throw out while I'm at my meetings today. There is no quick fix... or maybe there is if I quit making excuses....